(photo via @hellosunshine on instagram)
I’ve talked about this before so it’s not exactly revolutionary for me to say that I want to start being more of myself on this page. Not that I haven’t been in the past, but I’ve only been a part of myself because the truth is– myself is not “brand friendly.” Myself is not necessarily accepted by my peers on Instagram, either. Every time I write a caption opening up about my life, my struggles, my passions, or post a story that isn’t super cute, about products and my pets, or where I talk about difficult topics I get a few negative comments and DMs (expected) but I also lose followers which for a small creator who relies on her Instagram to support herself is hard and it encourages me to shut off more and more of myself and only show the cute, colorful, happy parts of myself and my life and hide away the rest.
No more. I’ve been told I’m too much, too emotional, too negative, I talk about myself too much, my room is too cluttered, I dress like an emo teenager, I like stupid things, my humor is childish or weird, my feed looks like it’s made by a 10 year old, my makeup is always the same and “unwearable,” my political beliefs shouldn’t be on this page, and a myriad of other things that are said with “good intentions” but make me (and I’m sure other creators) feel like there is no room for them to exist online or off as their true selves. But every person is so different and so interesting and we all have so many different facets to ourselves that we keep to ourselves to avoid judgment and just because that isn’t represented online doesn’t mean we don’t exist. We exist and it’s time, for me at least, to exist loudly and unapologetically. I love makeup, color, and animals. But I also love politics and activism, metal music, 80s new wave, 8-bit music covers, 90s toys, the dollar tree, horror movies, BAD MOVIES, trying everything on the menu at fast food restaurants, organizing, purses that look like other things, the winter Olympics, magnets, watching interior design videos, snacks that shouldn’t exist because they’re gross, Freddy Krueger ANYTHING, video games, naming neighborhood cats and visiting them on walks, green plaid, staying in hotels, touching everything at the store, comics, mushy food, true crime, therapy, dressing like an art teacher or an emo teen, collecting things, smelling the tire section at Walmart, art, wearing fun wigs, weird socks, DIY projects, matching my socks to my makeup, silly earrings, AND SO MUCH MORE. If you don’t like any of those things, that’s OK. Show me what YOU like. I want to see more of what makes you different and special. I want to see everyone I follow existing as loudly as possible without shame while I try to do the same. Tell me something you love in the comments of this post or in the comments section here that I wouldn’t know from looking at your page!
THIS IS A POST FROM MY INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT @JENNDECIMA POSTED ORIGINALLY ON SATURDAY FEBRUARY 8TH, 2020.