So I got this Korean Red Panax Ginseng a few weeks ago and I’ve been liking it a lot! First of all, it came on time and the packaging is really nice. I was expecting your standard supplement packaging but it’s actually in a glass amber bottle which I’ve heard is better for things like this and it’s still recyclable so that’s great! I wanted to try this because I’ve always heard it’s great for energy, it helps you focus and remember things (I have the worst memory, I have been known to forget entire movies like week after I watched them so obviously that would be nice), and it does all of that without making you feel jittery or like your heart is racing and you don’t feel that crash like you do with caffeine so obviously that was appealing to me! If you know me, you know that I have insomnia and anxiety(it’s a bit more complex than that, but we’ll leave it as anxiety so this post isn’t super long, lol) so in order to sleep I’m on medications that make me really groggy all day and in order to not be as anxious as I am naturally or have a panic attack I’m on a really high dose of xanax three times a day which ALSO makes me tired. It’s worth it for the benefits but it’s not fun walking around tired all the time and I have to drink A LOT of coffee or energy drinks to feel anything from them and when I do that, I end up super jittery, my heart races (I cannot tell you the amount of times I’ve had to calm my doctor down by telling him not to worry, I’ve just had six cups of coffee and an energy drink before I came in for my appointment. Turns out, he doesn’t like hearing that either but it’s better than the panic attack I feel like I give him every time he checks my vitals, lol.) and more anxious than I should be considering the medication I’m on and then there’s the crash that leaves me curled up in bed not being able to sleep but feeling like I’m already sleeping, IT’S A MESS!! So now that you know my full medical history and why I wanted to try this stuff out, here’s my experience…

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(image via @adamjk on instagram)

How are y’all doing? Times are hard right now and like this post from Adam J. Kurtz says, it’s okay if you need a minute! I’m still seeing a lot of productivity focused posts online (which is fine if it helps you, just remember to give yourself a break) but now that our closets are cleaned, we’ve watched every Tiger King episode, and we’ve all had our fill of dalgona coffee I’m starting to see people going stir crazy, struggling with working from home, or if they’re not working they’re trying to find projects to keep themselves busy. The most popular of those that I’ve seen recently is art, specifically coloring, which is something I’m so happy to see so if you want to read more about this topic and also some tips on developing a healthy work/home balance from someone who has worked at home for years, keep reading!

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(image via

How’s everyone handling day 18 (For me… I think? It feels like days and time no longer exist so I could be wrong) of quarantine? If we put aside the actual virus and fear of ourselves and our loved ones contracting it.. I kind of thought I would be unaffected by this, if I’m being honest. I work from home already and I’m an introverted person who doesn’t enjoy being social or going outdoors which means I basically already live the self-isolation lifestyle so what could change? I’m not sure if it’s the stress of the situation, if I’m somehow absorbing the collective emotions of others, or if I’m just going through a rough patch mentally and it has nothing to do with the pandemic at all but it turns out the answer is A LOT. Work has slowed down but so has my motivation to accomplish the tasks that I still have and continue to recieve. I’ve been feeling aimless, exhausted, hungry (so hungry), shut off, etc. which is strange because like I said, my actual day to day life has barely changed at all. It’s been more of a mental shift, I guess. I’m trying to give myself a break, allow myself to rest and recuperate, allow myself to be unproductive, and let myself actually enjoy ‘me’ time which, so far, has just been eating junk and watching TV. (Shout out to Ben & Jerry’s and Netflix for keeping me going. 😂)  I have literally nothing to update you guys on, I just wanted to check in and remind even my introverted, socially anxious friends who work from home that it’s ok if you’re feeling this way and that you’re allowed to feel whatever you’re feeling even if you didn’t think you would feel anything at all like me or you think someone else has more of a right to feel it. If you’re struggling, I did an interview with @maqobainc listing my top 5 mental health tips before this happened that might be helpful so I decided to share them here!

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(art via @femalecollective on instagram)

Relax, this is an old picture of me in the middle, I’m self-quarantining as everyone should be right now! 🦠 I know that everyone is scared right now, so am I. I am not immunocopromised but I do have some of those “underlying conditions” that the news is talking about. It doesn’t make me any more likely to catch the virus, but it makes my chances of beating it significantly less than the average person my age. I have severe asthma and COPD. Both of these are chronic lung conditions that affect my respiratory system which is dangerous because this is a respiratory virus that attacks the lungs, leaving even healthy people who have recovered from the virus with damaged lungs and reduced lung capacity. So yes, I am scared for myself and scared for my Mom, Dad, and Grandpa who are all more likely to succumb to the virus than I am. Please listen to the warnings. Stay home (if you can), don’t drink (weakens the immune system), wash your hands, keep a 6ft distance, wear gloves, don’t touch things, people, or your face unless necessary. PLEASE do not hoard supplies. I had to go to 4 stores looking for toilet paper because every store was empty. (If you’re in the same situation and live in downtown Sacramento, Gold Star Mart on 10th and S st. has four packs for $3.99 and single rolls for $1.99 right now.) This is a time to be selfless, be generous, protect yourselves, protect each other, and to HELP, not harm. ⠀

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(photo via @tristamateer on instagram)

Valentine’s day is just around the corner and it’s really bumming me out. It’s weird because I’ve never really cared about Valentine’s Day much. I never disliked it! We all know it’s a money holiday but I still thought it was a sweet day for couples like an anniversary and I liked it. If I was single, whatever, I’ve spent 24 Valentine’s Days single and I never died. If I was with someone it meant a gift and maybe dinner out or a movie night in bed or something. It’s never been anything super special and I think it’s only hitting me harder this year because I miss my ex boyfriend. I don’t even like calling him that, it really sucks. At this point we’ve been separated longer than we were even together and you would think it wouldn’t be so hard still but it is.

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(photo via @hellosunshine on instagram)

I’ve talked about this before so it’s not exactly revolutionary for me to say that I want to start being more of myself on this page. Not that I haven’t been in the past, but I’ve only been a part of myself because the truth is– myself is not “brand friendly.” Myself is not necessarily accepted by my peers on Instagram, either. Every time I write a caption opening up about my life, my struggles, my passions, or post a story that isn’t super cute, about products and my pets, or where I talk about difficult topics I get a few negative comments and DMs (expected) but I also lose followers which for a small creator who relies on her Instagram to support herself is hard and it encourages me to shut off more and more of myself and only show the cute, colorful, happy parts of myself and my life and hide away the rest.

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Hey Instagram just checking in cause it’s been awhile. Thanks to everyone who didn’t unfollow me through my Rodney Reed post spree! I was shocked at the number of people who did but also not surprised. It’s weird being an influencer and a real person with real thoughts/feelings and passions that fall outside of your social media ‘category’ at the same time. Some people have told me they love when I post stuff that isn’t about products or selfies and some people hate it and that’s ok.

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Anybody else struggle with impostorism? Studies say that 70% of people do, so it’s highly likely and I’ve been feeling it hard lately. If you’re not familiar it’s usually referred to as ‘impostor syndrome’ (even though it’s not a syndrome or an actual mental health condition). It’s described as “A psychological phenomenon in which people are unable to internalize their accomplishments.” but that doesn’t really cover everything because it doesn’t JUST affect my work. I experience it in my day to day life, as well. Continue reading



(art via @jade_boylanon instagram)

Hey guys! (Do I think I’m a YouTuber or something, what was that? lmao) I want to start being more authentic on this account. I think a lot of the time, people (including myself) get caught up with trying to be “brand friendly” or just look like we have it all together and only show the best parts of ourselves and our lives. I scroll through my feed and see all of these amazing pictures of outfits, makeup, vacations, food, etc. and I feel so disconnected. I’ve been lucky enough to do a few sponsored posts with awesome companies who sent me clothes/makeup or on a trip and I post pictures, but that isn’t my daily life AT ALL. I even have an upcoming sponsorship with a food company that I tried really hard to make look as cute as possible but in reality I eat almost every meal in bed watching TV or scrolling on my phone. In reality, I’m only ever dressed up if I’m going somewhere (which is rare) and spend 90% of my time in big shirts, pajamas and no makeup. In reality, I spend a lot of time comparing myself to other people online. In reality, I suffer with mental illness and even if you see me posting a fun photo on instagram that day.. odds are I took it a week before, haven’t showered since and am laying in bed feeling sorry for myself about SOMETHING. Some (and by some I mean a lot) of my days are bad. Some days I’m not OK and that’s OK, too. I want to start opening up and being honest here because this is my most popular platform and I want to take advantage of that and do something good with it. I get so many comments/DMs from people telling me I’m beautiful and inspiring and I LOVE those messages but it almost feels like you’re complimenting someone else because you don’t KNOW me yet. You’ve only seen the best and I want to show all of me, not just the 10% that makes me seem perfect so look forward to some new stuff SOON. I’m currently building up the courage to share my biggest physical insecurity with you guys and I’m terrified but also kind of excited? Anyway, today my mood is low and I’m trying to distract myself with work but tomorrow I’m leaving my house and meeting up with a new friend for the first time in over 5 years and I’m nervous as hell so wish me luck! 💛 #ITSOKTONOTBEOK