(art via @jade_boylanon instagram)

Hey guys! (Do I think I’m a YouTuber or something, what was that? lmao) I want to start being more authentic on this account. I think a lot of the time, people (including myself) get caught up with trying to be “brand friendly” or just look like we have it all together and only show the best parts of ourselves and our lives. I scroll through my feed and see all of these amazing pictures of outfits, makeup, vacations, food, etc. and I feel so disconnected. I’ve been lucky enough to do a few sponsored posts with awesome companies who sent me clothes/makeup or on a trip and I post pictures, but that isn’t my daily life AT ALL. I even have an upcoming sponsorship with a food company that I tried really hard to make look as cute as possible but in reality I eat almost every meal in bed watching TV or scrolling on my phone. In reality, I’m only ever dressed up if I’m going somewhere (which is rare) and spend 90% of my time in big shirts, pajamas and no makeup. In reality, I spend a lot of time comparing myself to other people online. In reality, I suffer with mental illness and even if you see me posting a fun photo on instagram that day.. odds are I took it a week before, haven’t showered since and am laying in bed feeling sorry for myself about SOMETHING. Some (and by some I mean a lot) of my days are bad. Some days I’m not OK and that’s OK, too. I want to start opening up and being honest here because this is my most popular platform and I want to take advantage of that and do something good with it. I get so many comments/DMs from people telling me I’m beautiful and inspiring and I LOVE those messages but it almost feels like you’re complimenting someone else because you don’t KNOW me yet. You’ve only seen the best and I want to show all of me, not just the 10% that makes me seem perfect so look forward to some new stuff SOON. I’m currently building up the courage to share my biggest physical insecurity with you guys and I’m terrified but also kind of excited? Anyway, today my mood is low and I’m trying to distract myself with work but tomorrow I’m leaving my house and meeting up with a new friend for the first time in over 5 years and I’m nervous as hell so wish me luck! 💛 #ITSOKTONOTBEOK